writing:dialogue tags

Even though I’m an editor for hire, I firmly believe in self-editing. Each month I’m going to drop a tip for developing your ability to edit your own work or identify things to look for as you edit. Make sure to check out all the DIY Edit Tips to improve your self-editing.

11 Rhythm & Pacing: Dialogue Tags

The rhythm of a sentence can affect readability, understanding, and emphasis. A clunky sentence can cause confusion, while a well crafted one rolls off the tongue and right into a reader’s brain. Good sentences seem effortless, but they require a lot of attention from the writer during revision.

Dialogue tags, or attributions, are primarily a functional element in writing. They efficiently identify who is speaking, but, even when using a simple construction like “he said” or “she said,” attributions can be used to guide the rhythm of sentences and scenes.

A dialogue tag can go before, after, or in the middle of a line of dialogue, which means it can affect the sentence rhythm in a number of ways. Consider the different rhythms of these three attribution placements:

(1) “The heart isn’t the problem,” Jacob said.

(2) Jacob said, “The heart isn’t the problem.”

(3) “The heart,” Jacob said, “isn’t the problem.”

The first example is the most utilitarian. It’s the construction most often seen in modern literature with the dialogue followed by the attribution. It’s perfect if this is just another sentence in a fast-paced conversation.

The second example is an inversion of the most common construction, beginning with the attribution and ending with the dialogue. This places more emphasis on the speaker. It’s easy to imagine this construction is used because Jacob is interrupting other characters arguing about the problem.

The third example uses the attribution to break the dialogue. This slows the delivery of the sentence, leading to a dramatic effect. (It can also be used to show how a character is speaking, taking a big pause after “heart.”) It affects the rhythm of the sentence, placing greater emphasis on “the heart,” by separating it from the rest of the sentence. This is useful if the dialogue is a major reveal, for example if Jacob is going to bridge the conversation into what is the problem (it’s not the heart, it’s the brain).

Varying the placement of dialogue tags and using them to control the flow of sentences, or to emphasize specific sections of dialogue, can be a good first step to crafting the right rhythm and pacing for your sentences and scenes.

Like what you read? Help me continue making this content by leaving a tip through Ko-fi.

09 Long Dialogue Tags

Dialogue tags, or dialogue attributions, are meant to identify the speaker for clarity but fade into the background of the narrative. That is why the simple “Joe said” is so celebrated, because it doesn’t draw attention to itself and distract from the dialogue. Even though I’m aware of this, often—especially in first drafts—I wind up with long dialogue tags in which there are multiple actions or descriptions. Having an action or description isn’t a bad thing, but coupling several with the dialogue tag can be confusing and distracting.

To simplify dialogue tags, first you have to identify what is “too long” for a dialogue tag.

Winded One way I identify long tags is by reading the dialogue and dialogue tag aloud. If I get winded reading the sentence, or if I have to pause and reframe my tone (because I was expecting the sentence to end earlier), the tag is probably too long.

And And And Another method is to look at the construction of the dialogue attribution. Most attributions are in a similar format—”character said, [continued sentence].” If the continued sentence has an “and” in it, or if it is longer than the dialogue that precedes it, it is likely too long.

Run On If the topic changes—for example, the dialogue is attributed to Elsie and then the continued sentence starts talking about Mike, or about something that is happening elsewhere—it is probably a run-on sentence. Remember, the dialogue attribution is still a sentence—it’s actually part of the sentence of the dialogue—and it needs to follow the basic rules of sentence construction.

Editing long dialogue tags is often as simple as inserting a period after the attribution and starting a new sentence. Sometimes the information in the sentence needs to be evaluated because it is extraneous or irrelevant (ah, the enthusiasm of the first draft). In any case, careful review of dialogue tags and keeping dialogue attribution brief can help keep the focus on the dialogue and let the attribution fade into the background where it belongs.

Like what you read? Help me continue making this content by leaving a tip through Ko-fi.

Tag Archive for: writing:dialogue tags

DIY Edit: 11 Rhythm & Pacing: Dialogue Tags

11 Rhythm & Pacing: Dialogue Tags

DIY Edit: 09 Long Dialogue Tags

09 Long Dialogue Tags